I had no idea Jesus was so hot.

Thanks to Mel Gibson, now I know. It means so much to me that God sent his only son to save me from sin, and that his only son was so hot. Even when the Romans had beaten him into hamburger meat, his beautiful, light brown eyes still shone through the bits of meat hanging off his face. I mean, that's comforting. Knowing that God's son, like, took care of himself and stuff. Because that shit is important. The body's a temple, yo. Maybe that's why Mary Magdalene was his homegirl, too. You know, cuz she smoked all those other chicks in Jerusalem.